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Ten Ways to Make Your Lawyer Rich

1. Tell your lawyer not to bother making a Transfer on Death Deed for your home for $200 – instead force your kids to open an estate administration after you have died to transfer the house, costing them $2,000.00.

2. Don’t make a Will even though you have a second wife and kids by your first marriage. Just let them all pay lawyers to fight it out in court after you have passed on.

3. Don’t check your beneficiary statements for your retirement plans and life insurance.  If your ex-wife is named and your current wife and kids are left out, let them hire lawyers to fight about it.

4. Prepare a Will leaving everything to your three children equally. Then put the one kid who lives nearby on your house and your bank accounts forcing the others to hire lawyers to try to prove your intentions and to get their share.

5. Hide your assets. Don’t tell anyone what you have or where it is. Keep a secret bank safe deposit box forcing your kids to hire a lawyer to help find the assets forcing them to pay extra fees to the lawyer.

6. Business acquisition – just write up the documents yourself. You and the Seller both know what you want and are in agreement. Why get a lawyer involved? Later, when problems develop, hire lawyers to enforce homemade documents that left out a lot of key terms.

7. Refuse to execute a Power of Attorney or Health Care Representative for $150.00 – after all you are not senile or old. Later, when you are senile and can’t execute a legal document, let you kids hire a lawyer to form a guardianship for you for $1500.

8. Don’t hire a lawyer to draft a land contract for you when you are buying some property – just make a verbal agreement with the owner – after all you know each other. After you have paid for 10 years and the owner fails to deliver title, then hire lawyers.

9. Hire employees – write up your own employee handbook and don’t have a lawyer review it. Then hire lawyers to defend the lawsuit when the employee calls the EEOC and sues you based on discrimination.

10. Even though your lawyer recommends title insurance and a closing at the title office, just ignore him after all you doubt there are any liens on the property. Later hire the lawyer to defend the foreclosure forced on you by an unknown lien holder.

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